Red Dirt

Evangelicals get their vicars in a twist over the Rapture!

FV — Sun, 22 May 2011 10:07:33 +0000

I don’t know if you’re the same as me but I do chuckle whenever I hear the latest prophecy of impending doom and the coming of latest ‘Rapture’. The Rapture, despite not actually being mentioned in the Bible, is a time that many Evangelical Christians believe that they will be gathered together in the air to meet Jesus Christ when he returns to mark the end of time, or something like that? Every few years some lunatic religious bod makes a stand and cries for all to hear that the Rapture will occur on May 21st/August 3rd/any date that takes your fancy… so be prepared, the end is indeed nigh (much easier to do nowadays with twitter, facebook etc so expect far more frequent and regular Rapture announcements in the future!!) If you really want to know more about this phenomenon then get hold of a copy of the DVD called “Left Behind”. The film is actually completely shite, but as they say, ‘shite happens’….. which is more than you can say for the Rapture!!

BILLY’S BOOTS!

FV — Tue, 10 May 2011 16:10:49 +0000

The greatest footballer who never 'lived'.

BILLY’S BOOTS from Scorcher and Score, the greatest boys football comic ever which I used to buy every week in the Seventies. Billy Dane, a schoolboy, was an absolutely crap player until he discovered a pair of old style, ankle high, football boots while cleaning his grandmother’s loft. The boots, which his grandfather had bought as a souvenir, had belonged, decades before, to a famous footballer called “Dead Shot” Keen. Brilliant! In a manner which was never explained in the story, the boots possess special abilities which turn Billy into a fantastic football player when he wore them. In addition to giving Billy the physical skill to score great goals, the boots also granted him the intuition to be in the right place at the time on the pitch, leading him to feel that they have a “mind of their own”. The boots endowed Billy with sufficient ability to eventually make the full England Schoolboys team, with whom he travelled on tours to France and Germany.

Surprisingly, and despite the boots’ obvious importance to him, he would repeatedly lose them or have them stolen only to find them again just in time to come on in the second half and reverse whatever half time scoreline deficit his team had managed in his absence! Priceless! Long live Billy Dane I say!

Take That or That Twat?

FV — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 12:39:11 +0000

Is it me, or is the new Take That album utter crap? I’ve given it a few listens and I’m afraid as much as I want to jump on the ‘Robbie’s back’ bandwagon, I just can’t. I was very sceptical about his return after two amazing comeback albums by the four lads and having heard the result now I’m happy that my reservations were well founded. The new album should be called ‘Regress’ rather than ‘Progress’. Or, better still, ‘Saving My Career’ by ROBBIE WILLIAMS (and sometimes take that.) Yes, I know, I’m sure Take That aren’t trying to please an old fart like me… but, musically speaking, this is a massive career saving, money spinning, ego pampering vehicle for Mr Williams and the sooner he buggers off back to LA the better. Has anyone managed to spot a Gary Barlow vocal yet? If I had been successful in getting tickets amidst the euphoria for the upcoming shows I would now be putting them on eBay and saving the cash until the 2012/13 tour is announced after Robbie has quit again and the four real members can get back to delivering bloody brilliant songs in the wonderfully theatrical style only they can. Yes, disappointing, but this new album will obviously will be a massive hit. Sadly, I feel that the Take That fan base has been well and truly conned!

Tan Lines!

FV — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:35:41 +0000

Cowabunga!

FV — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 11:37:35 +0000

Was walking the dog today and saw loads of people pointing at this cow. What in the world were they looking at? Took a photo anyways.

The 5 GREATEST FEEL GOOD FILMS of all time!!!

FV — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:38:45 +0000

And yes, they all made me cry because I’m just a great big softie!!!!

NUMBER 5

NUMBER 4

NUMBER 3

NUMBER 2

AND FINALLY, NUMBER ONE OF ALL TIME…..!!!!!

DO YOU AGREE? (“Emotional Dave!” I’m sure your 5 choices are the same as mine!!??)

Space Hopper baby, yeah!

FV — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:00:06 +0000

HANDS UP WHO HAD ONE OF THESE? FANTASTIC!!!!! Mine actually didn’t have knobbly handles!! Did yours? Most ridiculous, yet utterly addictive toy ever invented!

All’s well that ends well!

FV — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:36:56 +0000

Oh that's OK then!!!!

Classic 70′s Advertising

FV — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 12:46:53 +0000

Sitting on the back of a Ducati can do wonders for your cellulite!

Retro Adverts Strike Back Again!

FV — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:58:59 +0000

If we only knew then what we know now!!